re·flec·tionrəˈflekSH(ə)n/noun1. the throwing back by a body or surface of light, heat, or sound without absorbing it.2. serious thought or consideration
A few months into my most recent online dating foray, it has become clear that, in the search for love, most of us simply attract mirrors, over and over and over; people who reflect back our deepest fears, wounds, and hopes. Because there is no escaping that which we know is ours- issues, baggage, and so on- it can be an icky, sticky, and all together unpleasant experience, unescapable because we are the common denominator and there is no one else to blame.
Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know.-Pema Chödrön
The saving grace is that, as we grow and progress, becoming clearer about who we are, our worth, and what we want, our mirrors change and that clarity is reflected back. We can literally watch our own evolution, or lack thereof, by observing the types of people we are meeting, attracting, and allowing into our lives. Each of my failed relationships, whether they were long or short, has been better than the last. Or, if they weren’t, they’ve shown me where I still have ( a lot of) work to do, on myself. And, as the men I choose to be with get closer to hitting the mark of what I want and who I want to be with, I realize it’s because I am getting closer to hitting the mark of who I am and how/who I want to be.
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Photos taken at Doug Aitken’s Mirage, in Palm Springs, on April 27th, 2017.